(512) 983-1550
Adolescent Disordered Eating
Eating disorders are not about food!!!
There… I said it.
Wait… WHAT? That makes NO sense!
Does any of this, though? Probably not.
You probably don’t understand what’s happening?!?
Please, stop driving yourself crazy and don’t give up… because there is an answer.
Follow me, and let’s get to solving the REAL problem…
Your daughter views the world through very different eyes.
Forget about Type-A personality. We are way beyond that. No… she’s striving for PERFECTION.
Being strong-willed can be an advantage in the world, but it can also lead to problems.
Or maybe she’s just trying to stay in control. Maybe if she were just a little more perfect…
But you and I know that that’s a game that she will never win.
Do we want to set her up for a sure loss?
She is speaking a very different language.
In her mind, this way of thinking – this way of living – has made her the success that she is. But what if it’s barely keeping her alive?
Wherever she is with this, please keep this in mind…
Disordered eating “feeds” off the desire to be perfect – to be able to control and BE in control.
And when all that drive toward perfection starts to focus on controlling food, she will get better and better at it (like everything she does), and her health will get worse and worse. She will see the “positive” results… not the lack of energy and wasted time.
It will be exhausting for her, so what will she do? You know what she will do. She will work even harder, driving herself into the ground.
And it will happen. It’s just a matter of “when” it will happen.
Controlling her food is not the answer.
You can’t make her eat or not eat, or control what she eats.
Believe me: She will be better at this “game of food” than you’ll ever be. You’ll never even know the moves she’s making (she’s probably already 10 steps ahead of you). And that conflict will only drive the distance between you farther.
You can’t blame her… and you shouldn’t blame yourself. But there’s good news: You don’t have to.
It’s not about the food – that’s just what is hiding her real pain.
Food’s just the distraction.
I know you’re both trying… it’s just that you’re missing the mark.
Maybe this is a stage, and it will work itself out.
Maybe you have even been to other therapists.
Maybe she just won’t talk.
She tells you she doesn’t need your or anyone else’s help (If only I had a dollar every time I heard that!).
I know this is a lot, but I also know that both of you are sending love to each other. You’re both trying but not gaining any ground.
I don’t want you to miss this time, so take a breath, and stay with me here…
There are solutions, and we’ll get there together.
We’ll start by acknowledging that we’re all different – that we all have our unique story.
Your daughter is a unique individual, and she will always be treated as such.
I’ll help you develop alternative ways of communicating so you can understand each other.
It takes time to understand a new language. Let me help your entire family understand that language and what you can (and can’t) do to help. That way, you won’t have to spend any more of your time guessing.
We’ll find common ground and build trust.
It takes time to build trust, and it’s earned over time. To do this, I’ll need to learn about and understand your family’s dynamics and relationships.
We’ll use a family approach because this undoubtedly affects your entire family.
Therapy is meant to bring your family together – to calm the storm. My strength is getting the complete family to work together.
As I connect with your child, I will inform and coach dad (I explain disordered eating in football terms) and include all of your other family members (if available). Dad, don’t worry… I’ll only need you a couple of times. Mom, please refer your partner to the “Resources for Dads” button at the bottom of this page.
Watching families go from battles and silent treatment to walking out of my office laughing is the best feeling ever!
I’ll refer you to a higher level of care if that’s what’s right for your family.
There might be times when my methods don’t seem to make sense, but I’ve been doing this for 15+ years, and they will, with patience, all unfold to benefit your family.
But I also understand that it’s sometimes necessary to refer you to a higher level of care or to a therapist whose methods may fit your needs better. This isn’t about me; it’s about your daughter and your family, so if it’s in her best interest, that’s what we’ll do.
We’ll do therapy with the least impact on her life.
Therapy is scheduled so that it doesn’t interfere with her outside life. It shouldn’t feel like punishment!
We’ll work together to make sure it’s a positive, productive experience that doesn’t get in the way of the other good things in her life.
I’ll tell you why this is so important right now…
Because you know something’s not right and you know it can’t go on this way. It’s exhausting, and it won’t get better. And right now, she’s in your house, and you can still help her with these difficult decisions regarding her health.
Because I don’t want to see her in my office in her 30s and 40s, still fighting a demon that took over her life in her teens. I want all that energy to go into her creating the amazing woman she was born to be, loving her life with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart.
Because soon she will be off to college, and you are going to want her to be ready and prepared to thrive.
Because it’s not only affecting her. By now, you have probably seen its effects on each member of your family. She needs to know she has you and her family. I will only be in her life for a short time, but you will be there forever.
It’s time to live again… WITHOUT this issue front and center.
If it isn’t exhausting now (for both of you), then it will be soon.
If it hasn’t started to affect your entire family negatively, it will before you know it.
And it will only get worse…
So, let’s stop this early. Let’s give her choices. Let’s do it now…
NOT when she’s off at college…
NOT when she’s 50, having lived her whole life chasing this time-consuming demon of misery…
NOT after it’s infected every aspect of her life and relationships…
Let’s do it now. She’s not meant to do this alone… and neither are you. Call today and let’s schedule your free consultation: (512) 983-1550.